Advantages of going out ALONE

I recall my earlier self who never dared go to a movie alone or even go to lunch by myself.♣

“Sure, I’d love to go to Disneyland, but I’d never go alone.” But now, i’m a proud LONER!

When you slip into some kind of buddy mode, you start thinking that every activity from enjoying a cheese sandwich to a foreign sunset is only half an experience if there’s no one else around.

In many cases, at least for a lot of guys like me (harhar), I think it’s more the dread of being seen alone than actually being alone.

Table for one? Hahaha! What a shame.

Going to Star City by yourself. Tsk. Tsk. Not really.

For some guys, the feeling is comparable to one going to the playground and then riding a seesaw with nobody on the other end. Or perhaps something like trying to enjoy a rollercoaster ride without someone beside you. Embarrassing.

Don’t frown.

Did you know there’s a growing number of solo travellers who present a brand-new image of men/women alone. They’re not loners, they’re adventurers. When they hear the call of the world, they don’t wait for the boyfriend/girlfriend, friend or tour bus.

I travel alone. I watch movies alone. I go to theme parks alone. I go to the malls, coffee shops, comedy bars alone. I prefer being alone and an adventurer at the same time.

Tip: if you are narcissist or are fond of taking your own pictures for your friendster, multiply, myspace, and/or facebook accounts, bring along a camera with self-timer feature and a tripod hahaha! But exert extra caution when doing this to avoid untoward incidents such as getting your camera and tripod nabbed while trying to make a good pose at a distance. Haha!

Loners don’t worry about anyone else’s passport but their own. They do their homework and then go in places they’ve never been and figure out how to be safe and how to enjoy.

 A friend and I recently discussed how society puts a sad face on solitary women. The society failed to consider that the man/woman spending dinner with a book is enjoying his/her solitude.

 Or that a man/woman who walks into a gay bay haha no not a gay bar just a bar may be looking for nothing more than a beer. And that the one quietly staring at pictures in a mall exhibit relishes his/her private moment.

A person on his/her own may actually end up having more experiences than when travelling with others. He/She can be more spontaneous. He’s/She’s more open to casual conversation than as part of a couple. Alone, you can make your own decisions about where to eat, how many malls to go to in a day, what activities to do, when to siesta.

“We pave the way for normalcy someday for all those men/women peeking out from curtains and behind veils, men/women who can’t travel out just yet until they see that there is a road.”

Still, you imagine the warnings: “You’ll be lonely, robbed, hurt.” Or worse.

Women who travel alone find they develop better radar than when they’re accompanied. They’re more apt to check out who’s walking behind them, when to cross the street, when to sidle up next to a family.

Travelling with a companion, with a wife, with a girlfriend, always seems to me like birds in a glass dome, those Victorian glass things with stuffed birds inside. You are too much of a self-contained world for the rest of the world to be able to penetrate. You’ve got to go kind of naked into the world and make yourself vulnerable to it, in a way that you’re never going to be sufficiently vulnerable if you’re going out with your nearest and dearest on your arm. You’re never going to see anything; you’re never going to meet anybody; you’re never going to hear anything. Nothing much is going to happen to you.

“Whereas travelling, hanging out, going to the malls/parks alone, everything happens. And also travelling alone puts you in this position where you will do almost anything to make contact with other people. Haha but never do any acts of infidelity. My experience of travelling with somebody else is that you just hang around with them. Half the point of travelling alone is that you get so lonely you need to talk to other people. This can’t be avoided. When you feel lonely, get your PSP out of your backpack and play some games; take pictures of the couples holding each other’s hand while enjoying the moment of togetherness till you burst in tears hahaha! That’s a no no! – bring out that ipod and listen to fast beat music, or get your video cam and start making a video documentary of the place then upload it in youtube J

Other advantages of going out alone are: you can easily find a seat in a crowded food courts, you can share a table with some loners in a restaurant, you don’t have to pay train tickets for two, you don’t have to purchase two movie tickets, two drinks, and two tumblers of popcorns J

I spent a couple of months in Romblon a year before last year, by myself. I’m usually pretty reserved, don’t talk to strangers, etc., especially when I have a very tenuous grasp of the local language, but by the third day or so I was reaching out to anyone who was willing to try and chat. For example, I spent a very memorable ferry ride talking with an elderly woman who spoke no Tagalog or English. I speak very little Odionganon, so neither of us really knew what the other was saying… but we had a great time anyway. If a girlfriend had been with me, I wouldn’t have even tried to talk with that seasoned woman.

A friend of mine found travelling alone without his girlfriend was great for the reasons stated above and also it really gets him out of much trouble. Although now his girlfriend has gone hanging out by herself and now he’s the one at home worried about her safety and of course worried about her getting it on with some other dude … Haha! it sucks when the shoe is on the other foot!